Does our pain have purpose? 

I was so frustrated with God the other day. So much so I was pray yelling at him. My mother-in-love has been ill these past few months and hasn’t been herself in a way that hurts my heart. She loves God and has said on several occasions she doesn’t know why she’s still here and would just like to go home. This lady is one of those special people who shows the love of Jesus to everyone she meets, EVERYONE. She is responsible for my husband, me and our girls attending church. As far as I’m concerned, she is the Mother Teresa of Oklahoma. So, when she says she’s ready to go home but gets sick, really sick, and can no longer take care of herself like she used to, or act like her sweet self all the time. It makes me angry. It makes me sad. It breaks my heart. I can’t hold all that in. I need to know why, why does life work this way. Why does it seem so unfair that a lady who has served God and people her whole life, did I mention she’s 92 and up until a few months ago was still doing meals on wheels?! Why does she have to suffer? Why does she have to be pulled away from her home, her friends, her church, her way of life in such an extreme way. Like someone took her by her neck and jerked her right out of her life. 

So, I go to the source to ask that question. 

The one we all ask at some point in our lives. 

How. Is. This. Fair?!

Gods never short on answers, is he? You may not hear what you want to hear. But light will be shed. 

Mark 4 was that light for me. 

“On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.” And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”” Mark‬ ‭4:35-41‬ ‭ESV‬‬

When the disciples were on the boat crossing over to the other side of the lake in Mark 4 and that huge storm blew up out of nowhere it caught the disciples off guard and scared them. Jesus was clearly with them sleeping in the back of the boat, seemingly oblivious to the storm. He, being the Son of God, wasn’t oblivious at all. He knew what was happening. The disciples, even though some of them were by trade fisherman and must’ve seen plenty of storms in their lives, didn’t know what to do, it must’ve been one heck of a storm. But they knew who would know, or at least they hoped he would. They were in such a panic they couldn’t think straight. The storm was so bad, so violent they feared for their lives. Their faith was nowhere in sight. How familiar this sounds to me. The minute a raging storm hits, my faith goes out the window, at least temporarily. I forget whose I am while trying to figure out what I should do. The disciples had forgotten who was in the boat with them and the power and strength He had. Even though they had witnessed miracles of healing and were listening to Jesus’ teachings about the Kingdom of God and faith while in Capernaum, they still didn’t really know who it was with them. 

I felt the Holy Spirit gently asking if I know who it is that walks with me? Jesus.  And who it is walking with my mother-in-love. Jesus. If I know these things, who am I to determine she’s done with her Godly assignment? Who am I to question God’s authority? Who am I to determine fairness? He also asked, who loves without condition, with mercy, grace and peace? Again, Jesus. So, where is my faith to believe God cares enough for my mother-in-love to be nothing but fair to her? Do I believe Jesus can stand and command the storm to cease for her? Do I have the faith to believe his promise to never leave her or forsake her? Can I see his hand on her? Oh boy, so many eye-opening questions! 

Of course, God is in control, I can see that now. I’ve never doubted his love for her. She’s a marvelous woman. One of his favorites. What I realized, after giving God what for, is I lacked faith and I was being selfish. I wanted what I wanted. Yes, it’s what I believe my mum-in-love wanted but would that be Gods best for her? I’m reminded of John 16:33 where Jesus never promised an easy life here on earth in fact he said “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

I am confident God doesn’t leave any of us alone without hope. We can all experience the supernatural comfort of Jesus through all the storms of life. When we know who Jesus is, we can be confident that he cares about our storms, and sufferings, and he will always be with us through them. This belief requires faith from us, faith that in our storm is purpose, in our storm is a chance to learn and to grow and to teach others about the mighty name of Jesus. In our storm Jesus is always with us protecting and providing.

I trust that all pain has a purpose, that it is preparation toward our future destination. Tools, if you will, needed to live our best life and fight the good fight.

“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter‬ ‭5:10-11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭ESV‬‬

My faith is renewed and deeply rooted in the One who profoundly cares for all his children especially those humble servants like my mum-in-love. I know God won’t break his promises and when he says he’ll do something I need to trust his process. 

God is with us, for us and not against us. Jesus is with us even when he’s sleeping in the stern of the boat. When we can’t hear his voice, he’s with us. When we don’t feel his hand on us, he’s with us. And should things become so tough you cry out asking if he cares whether you live or die …... he’s still with you and he will rescue you. Don’t give up even when the storm is building to epic proportions. Keep pushing through, keep rowing the boat, the sun (or the Son) is about to break through the dark swirling storm clouds.