Have you ever had that sinking feeling someone's mad at you and you don't know why?

Every day we battle with what's going on between the ears, how we perceive people, things and situations. What may start off as a thought or observation can quickly turn into a full-blown debate or assault in our heads. Pretty soon a flippant comment or sideways glance someone gave us is now consuming us with a barrage of internal questions. What have I done to upset her, why did he say that, why are they looking at me like that, are they angry?

You rack your brain playing out the last twenty conversations you've had with them, trying to figure out your transgression, your misstep or mistake.

You come to the conclusions you haven't said or done anything wrong. Then comes the next round of mental attack; why would she treat me this way, I've been nothing but nice to him, I thought we were friends, who does she think she is looking at me that way!?

Crazy train thoughts, right? You can kinda chuckle at yourself in this saner moment, but you know this scenario, you've probably lived it a time or two. You let your thoughts run wildly unchecked and you wonder what just happened? You got offended over nothing, you took a magnifying glass and looked and looked for a problem and looked some more. You fabricated it all in your mind in thirty seconds or less!!! You are now mad at someone for no reason.

You now look over at them, shoot off a look that says 'forget you' they see it and guess what happens with them, yup, that same round of questions and internal dialogue is now going through their head. You know the same questions you were just wrestling with!

Oh boy what a mess. Now you are both mad at one another for NO reason. And the devil is in his corner doing a happy dance and he didn’t have to do a thing.

Why must we torture ourselves this way? Are we so self-absorbed that everything has to be about us? Why must our confidence depend on what we believe other people think about us?

Let me let you in on a secret, something to set you free; what other people think about you is none of your business, that’s right, none-of-your-business. I’ll even go as far and say if they talk about you or gossip behind your back, that’s none of your business either!!

The first time I heard someone say that I wish I could remember who so I could give them credit, it freed me. I no longer worry, well mostly no longer worry, I’m a work in progress, about what’s being said or thought of me.

1. I can’t control anyone but myself.

2. Their thoughts and conversations are their prerogative and on them. They are allowed to say whatever they want and reap the consequences.

3. It’s for God to sort them out. Convict them (or not). Not me.

4. Get some shoulder pads! My mum always told me 'Lorraine while they’re talking about you, they are leaving someone else alone'. I took that as I have broader shoulders than some and can take it even if I don’t like it!

5. The most important truth to remember; God ALWAYS has my back!

Take those thoughts captive; 2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV

Fix your eyes on Jesus; Hebrews 12:2 NIV

Embrace what God says about you.

"And we … are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 NIV

Never stop praying for others and yourself; 1 Thessalonians 5:17

As for me I am choosing to speak life, choosing to see the best in everyone. I am confident, whatever I look for I will find.

I will complement when I want to critique. Speak words of affirmation when I feel like tearing someone down. Love when I've been wronged. Pray for everyone, especially when I don't feel like it. Offer the other cheek Luke 6:29 NIV

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them, expecting nothing in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:35–36 NIV

One final thought, when I have taken my eyes off myself and my feelings and asked the imagined offender if they are okay, their answers are sometimes surprising. They are often distracted by something going on in their lives and the pensive look, frown or heavy sighs are because they don't know what to do. They need a friend to listen to them, give them a shoulder to cry on and pray with them. Humbling stuff.

It’s oh so important to get rid of our assumptions of what someone is thinking or feeling. It never ends well. Life's too short to be full of negative thoughts and emotions. Let's choose to love our friends, family and neighbours as God loves them. You know He loves us better than we could ever love ourselves.

Jesus, we ask you to give us victory over our thoughts and emotions today. Let us not be so concerned about what someone is thinking about us we forget to ask them if they are ok. Make us aware that the sideward glance, the furrowed brow or the heavy sighs can be a sign of trouble in their life not our friendship. Make us sensitive to their needs so we might pray with them, standing in agreement with what they are believing for. Lord, any time we begin losing control of our thoughts, help us flip the negative narrative in our heads to a positive Godly one. It’s in Jesus name we pray. Amen.